Why The Guest Should Be Treated Like God

Why The Guest Should Be Treated Like God

In our culture, guests are very important. Hosting is very important.

Who is a guest?

In Western culture, a person who is staying with you in your home, or a person whom you have invited to a social occasion, such as a party or a meal.

If you are someone’s guest, that person is paying for you.

There is even paying guest, who would pay for your hospitality.

Our culture is completely different.

अति गच्छति न तिष्ठति is अतिथि. The अतिथि will not stay with you for long.

Second characteristic is that, he is not invited. अकस्मात् गृहमायाति सोऽतिथिः. Someone who comes unexpectedly. It is not a planned event or by invitation.

अतिथिर्देव इति पूज्यः. The अतिथि should be worshiped like god. Like how we do शोडश उपचार पूजा. Washing the feet पाद्य अर्घ्य.

When नचिकेता went to यमलोक he stayed there without food and water for three days.

Then the assistants cautioned यमराज. वैश्वानरः प्रविशत्यतिथिर्ब्राह्मणो गृहान्‌. तस्यैतां शान्तिं कुर्वन्ति हर वैवस्वतोदकम्‌ ॥

It is not even that you gain पुण्य by taking care of your guest. If you don’t take care of your guest it will lead to disaster. आशाप्रतीक्षे संगतं सूनृतां चेष्टापूर्ते पुत्रपशूंश्च सर्वान्‌. एतद्‌ वृङ्क्ते पुरुषस्याल्पमेधसो यस्यानश्नन्वसति ब्राह्मणो गृहे॥

That guest will take away all these if he goes back unattended.

What are they?

आशाप्रतीक्षे Hope and expectation. What is the difference between the two? Expectation is something that you are assured of getting, like salary at the end of the month. This is प्रतीक्षा. Asha is hope - which is uncertain, like winning a lottery or the price of stock you have invested in going up.

The unattended अतिथि will take away both.

संगता - all friends, they will turn enemies.

सूनृता - the good words, sweet words that you might have heard so far, they will go away. People will stop being sweet and kind towards you.

इष्टापूर्ते - इष्ट is the पुण्य gained by performing यज्ञ, worship of god. आपूर्ति is पुण्य gained by performing charity. The unattended अतिथि will take away both.

पुत्रपशूंश्च - children and wealth. They will be gone, the वंश will be destroyed.

सर्वान् - everything will be taken away by that unattended अतिथि, will be destroyed by that अतिथि.

Not if he gets angry. He may not get angry and curse. He may simply go away. He may be peaceful person. That doesn’t matter.

Because at the time of walking in itself he is वैश्वानर, fire.

It is like he sets your house on fire as soon as he enters. It is up to you to douse that fire with water.

Other scriptures talk about the merits of doing अतिथि सत्कार. But in कठोपनिषद्, it is talking about firefighting. अतिथि is fire, before he sets your house on fire, you have to pacify him, like how you douse fire with water.

तस्यैतां शान्तिं कुर्वन्ति हर वैवस्वतोदकम्‌. Shanti with उदक (water). He has to be taken care of following the proper method, like how fire is doused with water.

Literally also this tradition is there. In the South, as soon as a guest comes in he is offered water to wash his feet. In the North, the guest is offered a glass of water first before anything else.

This is the concept behind it.

There is another concept here.

How do you tackle a person who is infuriated, who is flared up with anger. It is the nature of fire to go up and up, becoming more and more. That is the nature of anger also. If somebody is angry with you, if you shout back at him, his rage will become more.

What is nature of water? Water stands for humility. Water will always flow down, go to areas which are lower and lower.

Only water can efficiently douse fire. Counter anger with humility, be peaceful with an angry person, talk nicely. After some time his anger will come down.

Among the four नीतियाँ, साम, दाम, भेद, and दण्ड, this is the first नीति called साम.

Ramaswamy Sastry and Vighnesh Ghanapaathi